This can be the best option for some, but won’t fix the problems for others. Adults can have rigid beliefs about whether or not you should do this, regardless of your specific problems and general situation. Before talking to them, here are things to consider and research:
· Have you already unsuccessfully tried tons of stuff to make the bullying stop, or at least become tolerable?
· If you were all adult co-workers, instead of classmates, would the bullies be arrested for the things they do?
· Are the bullies physically violent, beyond occasional shoving, tripping or similar? If it’s physically violent bullying, have you already gone through the authorities without success?
· Do people make threats, which they later carry out?
· Is the bullying focused on a specific trait or traits that are unchangeable or not likely to change—like race, being poor, or having an accent?
· Did the bullying start (or get way worse) because a popular person or clique decided they hate you, or you had a falling out with a former friend or friends? And the problem is more than not getting along with a clique of snobs?
· Do the bullies successfully manipulate, encourage or bully others into fighting, harassing or excluding you?
· Do people who openly show you kindness become targets, themselves?
· Has the bullying been going on for a long time, or slowly worsened over the year or years?
· When you see characters in television or movies get bullied, do you ever get angry or laugh because those kids have it so easy compared to you?
· Is the problem likely to follow you? If the new school is in the same district, especially, there’s a chance that people at the new school will know people from your old school.
When you’re ready to talk to your parents and school faculty about transferring, here are several things you should have prepared in advance:
· A list of possible schools, ordered from favorite to least favorite.
· School contact info and principal names.
· What each school offers that your current school doesn’t.
· What you like at your current school that you want the new school to have.
· Any major policy differences between your old school and the possible new ones—if the policies aren’t all pretty much the same.
· Know how you’re going to get there and back. Do you drive? Is it on a bus or train route? Is it walking or bicycling distance? Map it out in advance, with time and distance estimates.
· Are there any costs associated with the new school? Obviously, private schools cost money, but public schools may also have extra costs. Suppose you need to take public transportation to school instead of walking, you or your parents will have to pay fare. You may need to cover a school uniform, P.E. uniform, student I.D., elective class or club dues, costlier school lunches, entrance fees for extracurricular events (dances, sporting events, school fairs), school supplies, yearbook, etc....
· Any other compelling reasons why you think things will be different at the new school.
For example, suppose you’re targeted at your current school, B. Thug Dumkopfersson College Prep, because you’re ridiculously genius-level smart and your parents are from Puerto Rico. While doing research, you find statistics showing that another school down the road, The Super-Cool Science School, has more ethnic diversity (including 65% Latino students), has won community service awards for their ongoing tolerance programs, enforces strict anti-bullying policies, and offers accelerated classes. Print out the info you’ve found, or at least note where others can verify it.
Try to remain calm if your parents or school faculty members argue with you. They may say things like how kids will be kids, or you need to toughen up, or a little fighting never hurt anybody. Whatever happens, remember that you’re trying to prove you made a mature decision based on facts.