You know your parents, so consider the timing of the letter. Some people may react best after dinner, while others may prefer to read it in the morning, and others still would hate both of those options and want to read it on a day off, so they can give the situation their full attention.
You can re-write it by hand, or print it out—whichever you think they’d prefer. The important thing is that you’re asking for help. If your parents don’t react well, even after they’ve had time to calm down, you still have options. Look at the resources listed (or do web searches for the authorities), try other approaches, keep a log of the bullying, and go to the authorities yourself.
Here’s the letter:
Dear (Mom and/or Dad),
I know you don’t want to hear this, but I am being bullied. It’s fine to ask me for details, but please remember to stay calm and avoid playing devil’s advocate for the other kid or kids.
Please do not say:
· This is the best time of your life.
· What do you want me to do about it?
· So? Get over it.
· Your true friends will like you as you are.
· People should judge you for what’s inside.
· I’m sure you’re not perfect, either.
· Tattletales always lose.
· Puberty is difficult for everyone, I’m sure the problems will pass once all of you grow up.
· Maybe they just have a crush on you, or are jealous.
· I’m sure you’re exaggerating.
· If that had really happened, a teacher would’ve intervened.
· I can’t believe that about (Blank).
· (Blank) is such a nice kid, I thought you were friends.
· You’re just being too sensitive.
· Don’t blow things out of proportion.
· Ignore it, and it’ll go away.
· Those are only words.
· What did you do to cause it?
· Why didn’t you stop it from happening?
· I don’t blame them.
· This wouldn’t have happened if you…
· Maybe if you tried to…
· Can’t you be more like (Blank)?
If you say one of these things, the best case scenario is that I won’t understand. I am young and this is how my life is right now—I’ve already tried the usual things to make it stop, but nothing worked. Because I just shared a shameful secret, if you don’t take things seriously, I could lose trust in you.
Please listen to the entire story before you react. Take your time to process the bad news. Research the situation. Above all, don’t blame me. Whether or not the fault for the conflict/s is shared, I want change and respect you enough to confide in you and ask for your help.
Many people go to counseling these days, and talking to someone impartial could be a big help. Joining a club or taking parks & recreation classes may also help me learn social skills while making friends outside of school. If the situation is pervasive and/or violent, and I want to switch schools or classes, considering the options may be beneficial.
Right now, you might be thinking about calling the bullies’ parents and giving them a piece of your mind. Unless you’re good friends with the parents, and you’re able to calmly, tactfully approach the situation... and the other parents are reasonable, rational, level-headed people, even when it comes to their perfect little darlings, this approach has great potential to backfire. If the parents know their kids behaved like bullies, and those kids are grounded or otherwise reprimanded, the same kids (and their friends) may be angry and opt to take out the additional anger on me for telling.
If you haven’t already talked to the school, the school board, the police, the phone company or internet service provider (if cyberbullying), or other relevant authorities, any of them could have suggestions or solutions.
Whatever you decide, please take a minute to relax and take a few deep breaths before reacting. Remember, telling you means I trust you with my problems.